Dick Cheney Hospitalized for Bi-Annual Heart Attack

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Ex vice-president Dick Cheney is in the hospital today after experiencing "discomfort".

We're not actually aren't sure yet if it was an actual heart attack. If it was it would be his sixth.

Here is a ridiculous summary of Cheney's health issues.

1978: Cheney had his first heart attack, when he was 37. This led him to quit smoking.

1984: Had a second heart attack.

1988: Had a third heart attack, this resulted in quadrupole bypass surgery.

November, 2000: Had a fourth heart attack which led to coronary stinting surgery.

March, 2001: Underwent an urgent coronary balloon angioplasty.

June, 2001: Had a pacemaker implanted.

September, 2005: Underwent knee surgery for artery aneurysms behind each knee.

January, 2006: Was hospitalized for four and a half hours due to shortness of breath.

February, 2006: Was hospitalized for tests after experiencing shortness of breath.

March, 2007: Treated for deep-vein thrombosis in his left leg after experiencing pain in his left calf.

November, 2007: Was hospitalized for atrial fibrillation.

October, 2008: Was hospitalized to treat an abnormal heartbeat.

November, 2008: Treated for arthritis in his knees.

January, 2009: Was in a wheelchair for two days (during Obama's inauguration) after straining his back "moving boxes into his new house".

February, 2009: Underwent elective back surgery.

September 2009: Elective surgery to deal with lumbar spinal stenosis.

February, 2010: Fifth heart attack reported after being admitted to the hospital experiencing chest pains. Received heart catheterization.

June 25, 2010: Admitted to George Washington University Hospital after reporting discomfort.

So yeah, he's probably fine.